Friday, February 11, 2011

Too Many Rats

Dear Diary

I've been sleeping badly, of late.  I have these waking dreams.  Some people call them night terrors, but they're not terrifying, they're just annoying.

Last night, it was a rat.  On previous nights, it's been spiders, puppies, lizards and birds.  I awake up, or come to.  It's dark-ish and the eye sight of this old warrior is not what it used to be.

A dim light emanated from a gnomish air cooler that Fidgette installed in the side of the wall.  I'd prefer the cool air of mountain halls to sleep in, but the constant travel to Tol Barad has been taking it's toll, so I've made myself a little abode along the coast of the Arathi Highlands.

Where was I? Ah, yes, the light, the dark and the rat.  Well, it wasn't so much a rat as a field mouse, but the point was, it was sitting on my bed side table, eating.  Eating what, I don't know.  There's loads of crap on my bedside table.  Books, whetstones, armour oil, gryphon receipts and the odd collection of coppers.

So I reached over and tried to light up the candle on the table.  Stupid gnomish fire starter, why won't you work first time! Or second time.. barghh!

The missus rolled over, elbowing me in the ribs. "Whatcha doin?", she asked sleepily.

"Thar's a rat on the table, an' this blasted candle won't light up!".  I was still fiddling with the fire starter, one handed.

"Thar's nae rat. Go back ta sleep."

"Okay, it's a wee mouse then. But it's still on the table, and it's eatin' me stuffs".  The fire starter was giving me the shits.  Time to start bashing it on the table.  The mouse didn't seem to mind.  It was still looking at me, whilst nibbling on a bit of paper.  Bah, I've got to get this light on, and prove there's a mouse on the table.

Then she gets up and turns on her lamp, lighting up the whole room.

Bloody hell, no mouse, no rat.  Just my set of goblin jumper cables, and a loose wire sitting where the mouse once was.  Bloody disappointment, my brain has done it to me again.

I've got to get some sleep, or I'm gonna mistake one of those Bilgewater goblins for a gnome, and he's gonna rip a new one in the back of my skull, as a piggy back the luck bugger across the Tol Barad peninsula.

Sleepless in Azeroth